Truth v. Tribalism – Lessons Learned

Feb 12, 2024

In the three years since the Berkeley Heights Public School District threw a significant part of my child’s IEP out the window, I’ve learned a lot. In hindsight, maybe we should have quietly sued the district. Instead, I became vocal about observations, responses (or lack thereof) from administration, program and curriculum changes, and the doors to real communication being shut. Is my family better off for it? Hard to say.

We reached a resolution to the IEP issue after a length of time. It was a bit too late to fix some of the damage that had been done, although legal issues move at a snail’s pace as well, so probably sixes there. I learned that at least one administrator in this district is capable of showing empathy.

I made some new friends; people who have proven to be REAL friends. For that I’m very grateful, since this road hasn’t been easy. (Freaking understatement of the year, and the year has barely started.)

I’ve learned that the messenger gets shot. A LOT.

I’ve learned that for many, tribalism trumps truth. (How’s that for alliteration?)

I’ve learned that asking “show me why you believe that” may as well be spoken in Shyriiwook.

I’ve learned to absolutely DETEST the words “work together” because those who cry for it the loudest aren’t willing to do it, neither publicly nor privately.

I’ve learned that in the eyes of some, it’s okay for a prominent town member to lie about people in a forum of 10,000.

I’ve learned the harsh lesson that someone whom I’ve stood up for in the past will laugh about the situation.

I’ve learned that (and this one is crazy, given how high school Language Arts classes went) I actually like writing, most of the time, though it always takes a heck of a lot longer than I think it will.

Except maybe those swim articles – those aren’t so fun, lol, and I’d make a terrible data entry person.

Most of all, I’ve learned that family is what matters most, so if my kids can see anything positive in what I’ve done, then in the end, it’s a win.